The top 10 (in no particular order) life lessons parenthood has already taught me...
There are some things you simply can not understand third-person.
Having a child myself leads me to want to recant every foolish, naive semblance of parenting advice I ever gave prior to May 29, 2012. There are some things in life that just can't be "gotten" from an outside perspective, no matter the depth of compassion or empathy or intuition. Walking in those shoes truly is necessary for some things.
Parenting is the opposite of boring.
I'll admit it. I used to look at families with children and think "I'm just not ready to settle down. I'm not ready for a mundane, predictable, cookie-cutter lifestyle. I'm still chasing adventure and pursuing excitement!" Ha. There is nothing mundane about parenthood. Being the sole provider, protector, and nurturer (especially during a deployment) of a tiny helpless human being is the opposite of predictable. Realizing that this other person, under your care, is developing and becoming who they will ultimately be smacks mundane in the face. Praise the Lord for grace. Sometimes I wish we would have had children earlier and saved our childless, adventure-seeking years for when we could control our schedule - after they leave the house :).
This world is a super jacked up place.
You'd think I've lived an extremely sheltered life by the number of times I've said "that's it, we're moving to Montana" since Ali was born. I've suddenly become uber-sensitive to the music on the radio - ohmygoodness, and kids listen to this station??, words and topics of television shows - can they seriously say that on Bravo?? - and anything I perceive as potentially damaging to my sweet little blank canvas. I want to go crazy mama bear on everyone and anything who might steal even a gram (yes, I had to Google what measurement is less than an ounce) of her innocence. I'm sure Montana has its share of craziness and depravity but a ranch, horses, braids, and a jean jumper sure are tempting since becoming a parent. More importantly, parenthood has made me deeply aware of how desperate our world is for our Savior.
God. Is. Amazing.
There's no way to put this lesson into words. It's impossible. I used to look at mountains that stretched beyond the clouds and vast oceans with their tireless waves and praise our Creator. And I still do. But thinking about how this little lady came to be and how she grew inside my body for almost 41 weeks and then looking at her face and watching her personality bloom...there just aren't words for the depth of worship that brings me to. He is amazing. Thank you, Father.
It's not that important.
Having a child puts the entire world into perspective. Things I used to attach all sorts of weight to now fall waaay down on my priority list. That appointment on my calendar, that obligation, that task on the to-do list that used to master me - all mere suggestions. The girl who was once easily annoyed by what she misunderstood as the flakiness of mom-friends is now probably the biggest flake of them all. Letting Ali complete her nap, cuddling her for story time, throwing an impromptu dance party, helping her master whatever milestone skill we're on at the time...the simple (don't read unimportant there) tasks of parenting now trump almost everything else in life. She's just worth it.
I need my buddy.
Nathan has been my perfect partner for life. God totally knew what He was doing when He wouldn't let Nathan give up "the hunt" and simultaneously softened my heart to a man opposite of anyone I'd ever dated. He mellows me and grounds me. He challenges me and encourages me. He focuses me and protects me...I could go on and on but we'll leave that for another post, I'm sure :). I miss him dearly when duty calls him away from our home, and that has never been more true than when we became parents together. I am giddy when I think about raising Ali (and more, Lord willing) with my best friend and I can't imagine parenting beside anyone else.
Life is short.
Ohmygoodness, is it ever?!? If only I was paid for the number of times parents have gazed wistfully at Ali and I, saying "Oh, it goes so fast. I remember when my oldest was that age...seems like yesterday." Is this lesson cliche? Absolutely. But is it true? I never knew how true until I started considering the days, months, and milestones of Ali's life that are already in our rear view mirror. Lord, help me to drink deeply every moment you give our family and not rush a single one. It'll be gone before we know it.
We can learn so much from kids.
Waking up singing and giggling. Turning tears into smiles in seconds. Humming while eating. Splashing in the bathtub. Lost in tips-of-toes laughter. Squealing. Napping. Wide-eyed. Gracious. Loving. Fearless. Carelessly messy. Free. Ali teaches me how to love life and be a better human being every single day.
We need each other.
We, women, need to choose to leave our insecurities behind and raise a banner of unity. Can you imagine how loved, how supported, how encouraged, and - come on! - how efficient we (and our children) would be if we traded in all the time we spend competing with one another, especially in the realm of motherhood, for time lifting one another up and sharing our (honest) lives with each other? This life, with its uncertainty and certain craziness, is more than enough to fill our rucksacks so let's quit comparing ourselves to one another in an effort to elevate our love for our children above our sister's love for hers. Honestly, could our own insecurities make us stoop any lower than that?
I desperately need Jesus.
A few loved ones told me how sanctifying marriage can be prior to Nathan and I getting married and after six and a half years of marriage I will certainly vouch for that. You know, I was a pretty selfless, forgiving, and loving person when I could isolate myself from needing to be that way on days I wasn't especially interested. Becoming a parent has taken that opportunity for sanctification and growth to a whhhole new level. I didn't realize how selfish, inpatient, and just all-around sinful I was until becoming a mama. I need Jesus. More and more with each passing moment. Empty me out, Lord, and fill this shell with You.
