What now? What next? How in the world do I move on from this? This was not in my plans for today...I don't even know what day it is anymore.
Either you've experienced this type of heartbreak before or, I'm sorry to tell you, you will eventually. Unexpected loss brings it on. The shattering of expectations brings it on. Life on this planet brings it on.
So what? What do we do with that?
Don't try to numb it.
A broken heart will remain broken until it is healed. That's a simple idea to scan over. A broken heart will remain broken until it is healed. It is human nature to want to protect ourselves from continued pain. So we reach for a bottle. Or a pipe. Or the remote. Or food. Or Facebook. Or a gym membership. We naturally want to escape the pain of heartbreak so we turn to whatever brings us immediate relief. Our hearts need to be mended but how do you mend something you don't even understand? How do you put the shattered pieces back together when you don't even have the energy to pick them up off the floor? The task is too much to take on. So we grab whatever band aid is in reach, slap it on, apply a little pressure, and exhale a small sigh of relief when the blood reduces from a gushing to a trickle. But here's the thing - that band aid wears out. There comes a time when it no longer works and we're left with an infected, gaping wound where healing was intended. You see the thing about escaping, numbing, whatever you want to call it is this - you have to keep escaping or numbing the pain in order for it to work. Because a heart will remain broken until it is healed. And we weren't created to live life with broken hearts. Our beings weren't intended to walk around with shattered souls.
Let people in.
When we experience true heartbreak the last thing many of us want to do is allow people to see us that way. We don't want to explain. We don't want advice. We don't want people to see us vulnerable and broken. But the thing about it is this - a broken heart will remain broken until it is healed. And people can help with that process. Shining a light on the shattered pieces can help us find those few that flew under the couch. Keeping a broken heart in the darkness of our isolation can paralyze us from ever moving forward. Attempting to hide our broken hearts from people in our lives takes an enormous amount of energy...energy that would be far better spent in the healing process. Healing from a broken heart takes coming toe-to-toe with it and that's impossible to do if we are the only ones who know about it.
Turn to the Healer.
This is where I'm going to lose some people. You were with me until now. I was spot-on in describing your heartbreak but now she's gonna get all Jesus on me. Yes I am. Because how's your heartbreak doing? Has it become your best friend? Have you tried everything in your capacity to deal with it, run from it, bandage it up in your own strength? How's that going for you? I know, precious friend, because I've tried it all too. And. It. Doesn't. Work. I made dealing with it nearly a full-time job. And it still didn't work. Because a broken heart remains broken until it's healed. And consider this, my logical friends, how in the world can we expect to heal ourselves when our very selves are all busted up? It just doesn't make sense. And, oh, there have been times when I wished I could heal my own broken heart because I am predictable (to myself) and immediately responsive and tangible. But it just doesn't work. The very thing that seems like it won't work, turning to a God you can't see with a plan you don't know and a tactic you'll never understand, is the only thing that works. Is it uncomfortable and does it feel unnatural? Yes, at first. Until the sweet salve of the only One who knows our heart, and heartbreak, well enough to mend it overwhelms us and fills in every single crevice of our brokenness.
And we are left without answers satisfactory to humans.
But we are left healed.
Whispering the healing, comforting name of Jesus.
And that is far more than enough.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion -- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
Isaiah 61:1-3
*NOTE: while most heartbreak refers to the romantic kind, this post isn't referring to my marriage. Didn't want you to get the wrong idea!*
